she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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