whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
