Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
