I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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