: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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