You can't motorboat a personality
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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