I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
