If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
