I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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