Plan B is the new Plan A
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
