i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
