ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
