I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
