you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
