Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
