Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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