pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
