We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
