so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
