just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
