How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize