Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Duck Duck Cougar?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
