hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize