Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
