2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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