i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
