stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
