weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
