Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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