Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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