You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
