My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Panties = found
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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