Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
