please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
