So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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