You work out of a Hotel?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
