Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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