Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize