God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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