I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
