When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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