just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
