I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
