How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Enjoy the penises
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
