i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
