In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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