Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
