I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize