You work out of a Hotel?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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