I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
