A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Pants are for mortals
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
