reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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