what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I am available for nakedness
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize