I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
