There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize