Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize
