no, he came in my armpit
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
